The Ultimate Step By Step Guide To Get Over Your Ex (like they never existed)

April 16, 2021by Ogunlowo Samiah0

Six letters, two words, easy to say, hard to explain, harder to do: Move on!

So you just got dumped and you are finding it harder to move on without being constantly haunted by the memories of the ex-love-of-your-life. Occasionally, it feels like you may never stop thinking about them and what you had together. Even worse, you start obsessing over the life they may be living without you, who they may be dating now and whether you’ll ever get back together. It is totally normal to find letting go of someone you shared an intimate relationship with hard and even harder when you simply can not forget. But, it is essential in order for you to get your life moving because breakup or not, Life needs to go on.

Whether you’ve been together for just a couple of weeks or for several years, whether it is your first breakup or you have been through it already, saying goodbye to someone that you have given your heart, love, time, and all to is typically the worst thing ever. It is certainly very hard and I feel your pain, the universe feels your pain. But know this, so many people have had their fair share of heartbreaks,  so many more have had their fair share of moving on and now it is your turn.

Below is a step-by-step guide of how to get over your ex and get your ass back in love!

1.     Get Your Ex Off Your Face

From inexpensive gifts and mementos to cards and letters and even clothing that once belonged to the ex, GET RID OF THEM! PURGE THEM ALL! These little things can make you stare into oblivion for hours remembering and reminiscing about memories you’d rather forget.

Another important thing to do is to unfriend them on social media, at least until you are over them, or make a commitment not to obsess over their social media profiles. You will also need to be careful of the pages/posts of mutual friends where you can see pictures and hear things about them and possibly gist about their current endeavors.

And if you share the same apartment with your ex, it goes without saying one of you needs to move out!

2.     Avoid Run-ins

Again, get your ex off your face!

One of the best way to get over your Ex is to eliminate all forms of contact, especially physical ones. Accidentally running into your Ex may seem tempting, after all, you have not gotten over them and you probably still imagine a get-together. A word of advice? DON’T DO IT! Let bygones be gone. If there are places where you think you can meet, avoid those places and rearrange your schedule if you need to.


3.     Create New Muscle Memories

Remember there was actually a time when you were doing fine without those cute morning messages, those random gifts with I love you notes, oh, and those intimate sensual moments. Yeeees, there was time! It feels weird now but there was a time.

Over the course of your relationship, your body, brain, and soul have gotten so used to a new reality they didn’t expect will end. It is your job now to jolt them back with force, yes! with force! Then go ahead and fill the void with some productive activities or some of the things you love to do.


4.     Visualize Your Future Without Them

It is high time you started un-imagining all the happily ever afters you envisioned in your head. No, it didn’t work out, so what? You want to let that stop your from achieving all those groundbreaking dreams of yours? Do you want to let that stop you from making a fulfilling life for yourself? You better not!


5.     Plan A Pity Party

Get your friend, wallow to them and let them shower you with attention. Allow them to encourage you to stop talking to or about your ex. Let yourself be distracted and make conversations about how to move on with your life.


6.     Give You A Treat

From taking lots of bubble baths to taking time out to self-care or even planning a vacation. Give yourself that treat! It may just be what you need to remind yourself how fabulous and deserving you are.


7.     Boost Your Self Esteem

Many a time, breakups leave people feeling undeserving. This usually results in low self-esteem and eventually depression. But that mi amigo is not your portion. Engage yourself in uplifting activities, listen to soul-lifting songs/podcasts, and engage in self-admiration. Honey, you can’t see it now but you are so fabulous, you are a spec and that’s on period!


8.     Learn

Mistakes, failures, setbacks, or what have you are not as bad as people paint them. They are the reason why people, things get better. So take a time out to reminisce about how you shipwrecked and learn. Because what, Once bitten?


9.     Find Love Again

Get on a dating app and start dating again. Actually, get on Sturrd and start dating again.  Dating, whether good or bad can help preoccupy you while your heart continues to heal.  “You might not enjoy it at first. Perhaps you won’t be able to stop thinking about your ex on a few inevitable bad dates. But just as bad dreams don’t stop us from sleeping, a little hitch on your quest to finding love shouldn’t discourage you.


10.  Get Professional Help

If after following this guide you still feel obsessed about your last relationship. If after months you still find it hard to move on. Then get help. There is nothing wrong with seeking professional help.


But I am confident that if you follow this guide seriously, then your ex is past tense. May you find love that will stand the test of time and may the odds always be in your favor.

Ogunlowo Samiah

Samiah can usually be found engrossed in a book, and that book will more likely than not be a thriller. When she is not reading, she is an artist, poet, and freelance writer.

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